An Interview with Cou
by TheSponsor
Summary: I sooooooo bored! I don't know why I didn't do something productive like work on my novel. Eh, what are you gonna do? Enjoy my little chat with Cou. SECOND CHAPTER NOW ADDED WITH MY BROTHER! LOVE YA, JIMEH!
1. My Interview

I like interviewing characters from anime. I DON'T MAKE UP SOME YAOI RUBBISH! *deep breath* Anyhoo, I love Cou. OMIGOSH! I'M A POET!

I don't own Elemental Gelade or Cou. You know... "legally." *giggle* Seriously, if I did own Elemental Gelade, there would be more gore in the anime. RINNIE WANT BLOOD!

* * *

Me: 'Kay! 'Kay! Everyone, settle down.

Cou: *looks around* We're the only ones here.

Me: I SAID SETTLE DOWN!

Cou: Where am I?

Me: This is my writer's nook. It completely on the other side of the house to my bedroom. Convenient, no?

Cou: Uh... How did I get here?

Me: You came throught the portal in my bathtub. Read The Portal of EPICOCITY! *wink*

Cou: *looks around* Who are you talking to now?

Me: SILENCE, MORTAL!

Cou: Wait! *jumps out of seat* Where's Ren? What have you done with her?

Me: Nothing! I could never do anything nasty to Ren-chan. She's safe right where you left her.

Cou: What about the others?

Me: The same. Now, if you would please take your seat. I have some questions to ask you.

Cou: Um... Alright.

Me: What kind of hair product do you use?

Cou: I don't use hair product.

Me: *pointing with a furious look* DON'T LIE TO ME, COUD VAN GIRUET! I can see into you SOUL!

Cou: *blink blink*

Me: Can I touch your hair?

Cou: I'd prefer it if you didn't.

Me: I either touch your hair or sniff your awsome jacket.

Cou: *reluctantly leans forward and lets me pat him on the head*

Me: *giggles and twirls around in spinny chair with delight* Can I sniff your awsome jacket?

Cou: No. Can I go now?

Me: You're mean.

Cou: You're crazy.

Me: *flicks hair and flutters eyes* Thank you!

Cou: ...

Me: What's your favourite colour?

Cou: Red. Can I go now?

Me: Typical. Are you a dog person or a cat person.

Cou: Please... Let me go...

Me: Come on, Cou-san. Embrace the interview.

Cou: I don't even know who you are!

Me: My name is Karynne. I'm a Leo, but I don't believe that has any effect on my personality or anything like that. I enjoy curry and bothering people.

Cou: Clearly.

Me: Do I smell of curry?

Cou: No, I mean- Oh, never mind.

_And then he looked into her eyes and said, "My darling, I love you!"_ My aunty wanted me to say that.

Cou: *shudder* I just got a chill.

Me: What's your favourite dinosaur?

Cou: I dunno. T-Rex?

Me: That's positively BORING! Everyone says that. Choose something else.

Cou: Okay, Velo-

Me: WRONG!

Cou: Stego-

Me: WRONG!

Cou: Brach-

Me: If you do not take this seriously, Cou-san, I'm going to have to punish you.

Cou: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Me: *throws stuffed chameleon at Cou*

Cou: I wanna go home!

Me: Do you like Twilight?

Cou: What?

Me: You know! The books and the movies.

Cou: *slowly shakes his head in confusion*

Me: *tents fingers* Good... Good...

Cou: Are we just about through?

Me: Do you like JB?

Cou: What's that?

Me: A singer who failed puberty.

Cou: I don't know.

Me: Hmm... I seem to be lacking inspiration. JAMES!

James: *enters* What?

Me: What question should I ask Cou-san next?

James: I dunno.

Me: Come on...

James: Nope. I don't even know who he is, so...

Me: Why, this is Cou! Cou, this is James.

Cou: Do you know how I can get home?

James: Oh, this again. Sorry. She does this whenever she's bored and waiting for an episode of Bleach to load.

Cou: So, can you get me out of here?

James: *ums and ahs as if he's considering the question before smirking cheekily* No. *leaves*

Cou: Wait! *goes to follow him*

Me: NO! *throws dollhouse at floor in front of door* YOU DO NOT LEAVE!

Cou: *sits back in his chair with eyes wide in fear*

Me: Do like Bleach?

Cou: Never seen it.

Me: *turns on computer and watches an episode of Bleach with Cou* Well?

Cou: That's twenty minutes of my life I can't get back.

Me: I know! Isn't it Great!

Cou: ...

Me: Do you like Death Note?

Cou: If I say that I've never seen it, you'll make me watch it. If I say that I like it, you'll probably make me watch it. I'm going to say that no, I do not like Death Note.

Me: So, you do not know who L is.

Cou: No.

Me: SORRY, MUMMY!

Cou: *looks up at ceiling where I was screaming at*

Me: If you had to let either Ren, Cisqua, Rowen, or Kuea die, which one would you choose?

Cou: What kind of a question is that?

Me: The hypothetical kind. Why so edgy?

Cou: Cicqua.

Me: Wow! Very little thought needed there.

Cou: *shrug*

Me: Who is the cutest girl you know? *blink blink*

Cou: If I say you, can I leave?

Me: You may leave once the interview is finished.

Cou: Okay. Ren.

Me: *cloud of jealosy covers face for a brief moment* Oh, wellz. Can't be helped.

Cou: How many more questions are there?

Me: I dunno. I'm just making this up as I go along.

Cou: *groan*

Me: Don't think of pink elephants.

Cou: ...

Me: What are you thinking of, Cou-san?

Cou: ...Pink elephants.

Me: BUT I STRICTLY COMMANDED YOU NOT TO! *throws stuffed Sonic the Hedgehog at him.* OH, NO! SONIKKU! *retrieves the toy and hugs him tightly*

Cou: ...

Me: Cou.

Cou: ...Yes?

Me: Do you think I'm pretty?

Cou: *glances around the room and notices how many object that could function as dangerous projectiles* ...Yes.

Me: *squeals girlishly* Say it again. *pulls out phone and films him*

Cou: Karynne is pretty.

Me: *squeals girlishly* I'll take you home now.

Cou: Thank you.

Me: Can I come with you?

Cou: Could you not?

Me: *pouts*


	2. James' Interview

Me: I was watching an episode of Elemental Gelade-

James: More like Elemental Gaylade.

Me: -when James decided to give me an audio commentary. Needless to say, I didn't appreciate his comments.

James: WHOOOAT!

* * *

An Interview with Cou

Part 2

James: *drinking his tea* Rin, get Cou here. I wish to interview him.

Me: Le gasp! *bolts out of room*

James: *slurp*

Me (upon return): I giveth thee Coud Van Giruet!

James: He shall now be known as Cud McGrew to avoid confusion.

Cou: Oh, not this agai-

James: TO AVOID CONFUSION!

Me: The master has spoken.

Cou: He's like twelve years old.

James: No, I'm forty-two.

Me: *nods loyally*

James: I going to interview you, Cou.

Cou: *whimper*

Me: Aw, ma poor bebeh is traumatised. *strokes Cou's head*

Cou: But I don't wanna.

James: Tough dragons!

Cou: What?

James: NOTHING! First question.

Me: Yay!

James: Where do you stand on curtains.

Cou: I don't. They're on the the windows.

James: Clever... What is your show about?

Cou: ...You don't even know?

James: HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S A SHOW!

Me: AR

James: Why are you a pirate?

Me: No, alternate reality. It's a fanfic term.

James: *blink blink*

Me: It's an excuse to keep our favourite characters alive and create stupid pairings.

James: It's not a very good excuse. Cou, what is girlfy number one's name?

Cou: What?

Me: He's designated one of the other characters as his girlfy number one.

Cou: Ren?

James: NO! NOT THAT BLUE HAIRED ONE! EW! ...What is girlfy number one's name?

Cou: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

Me: Kuea.

James: No, I don't like that. Her new name is Miss Tahiti.

Cou: …

James: What is girlfy number two's name?

Cou: I don't even know what a girlfy is.

James: Yeah, you wouldn't.

Me: Girlfriend.

Cou: And you have two?

James: Yes, doesn't everyone? I keep the second one in my basement.

Me: The basement of your mind.

Cou: I don't know who she is.

Me: No one does. She was just some random in the background that he decided was his prisoner girlfy.

James: Not prisoner, more of a slave. You don't necessarily order your prisoner around.

Me: No, they just sit there. Useless prisoners.

James: Riley, why is everyone and everything in your universe gay? And why are there flying rocks? And why are your flying rocks gay?

Cou: Who's Riley?

James: What did the writer have to gain by putting floating rocks in there? Who does that help? They just float! And how do they stay up there? Karynne, I'm asking you a question!

Me: They're magic.

James: WHY ARE THERE MAGIC ROCKS!

Me: Coz it's cool?

James: No, they're not! They don't do anything!

Cou: Seriously, how long will this take?

James: Why are you here again?

Cou: …

Me: *whisper something to James*

James: Oh, right! HA! COU RHYMES WITH POO!

Me: But Cou is not a poo. Cou thinks I'm pretty.

Cou and James: *sighs and rubs brow*

Cou: Can I ask a question?

Me: Sure!

James: *strokes chin* Proceed.

Cou: Can I go home?

James: Sure, but I should warn you that you have about five seconds to get there.

Cou: What?

James: I called the cops. Karynne told me about your under-age drinking in the Manga, and we brown upon such behavior.

Me: *nods loyally*

Cou: What? That was an accident!

James: You can't drink alcohol by accident!

Cou: I didn't know it was alcohol!

James: Well, who drinks a mysterious, red liquid? It's either booze or blood!

Cou: How do you figure?

James: Easy. Blood's red. So's booze. The end. Is it illegal to drink blood?

Cou: *gets mercilessly beaten by coppers.* AGH! POLICE BRUTALITY!

Me: Why would you want to know that?

James: I dunno. I'm just curious. Like, you know it's wrong, but has anyone made a law to say that we can't? It's the same with eating people.

Me: No, I'm pretty sure cannibalism is against the law.

Cou: *getting head bashed into wall by copper*

Random Officer: Yeah, that's illegal.

Me: There you have it.

James: Why bother making it illegal? Just shoot them. That solves everything. If your dog is licking itself, shoot it. If your curtain is wavering in the breeze, shoot it. If it's Karynne, shoot it.

Me: …

James: Or do they have to make it illegal just so people know that eating another human being is wrong? How would you eat a person? Do blend them, or boil them up? Ooh, I could go for a kebab.

Cou: YOU'RE SO WEIRD!

James: At least I don't drink booze.

Cou: You're drinking right now.

James: *looks down at glass of booze then glares at Cou* Why aren't you in jail, yet?

Cou: *taken away* Noooooooo!

Me: I'll visit you, Cou-san!

Cou: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

James: Rin, stop typing everything that's happening.

Me: *stops typing*

* * *

Me: Well, there you have it. James' opinion on Elemental Gelade.

James: I think I summed it up pretty well for someone who's only seen one episode.

Me: You weren't paying attention. You were just pointing out the hot chicks.

James: *shifty eyes* Shut up.


End file.
